We got our midwife on the phone right away and she said she'd meet us at the office to test the discharge for amniotic fluid. After that conversation, I hurriedly stuffed some items in a bag for the hospital. By that time it was time to get Jaxen up from nap and we all piled into the car and headed to her office. The whole trip there I was silently trying to convince myself that I really had lost control of my bladder and it would all be fine. By the time we got there I was actually feeling ok about the situation. I handed over the vile of fluid, our midwife pulled out some litmus paper and stuck it in. It turned dark blue for the presence of amniotic fluid immediately. Panic was returning but I tried to keep as calm as I could on the outside so as not to upset Jaxen. Straight to Boulder Foothills Hospital we went not realizing they had a cut off age for when their equipment could best support preemies. It was 30 weeks but they did admit me to start me on mega doses of magnesium to stop the mild but steady contractions and to protect babies vital organs in case I did deliver that night or soon after. The official diagnosis pProm or preterm prelabor rupture of membranes. They also gave me steroid shots in the butt to help his lungs develop more quickly. When I finally recovered from my magnesium funk with accompanied scary low blood pressure dive, the doc called up an ambulance and had me transferred to University Hospital in Aurora where the care for babies born 26-28 weeks is the best in the state.
So my first ambulance ride ever was thankfully uneventful. When I finally was delivered to my room at UCH it was probably 2am. Nice facility but very by the book as one might expect from a teaching hospital. Before I could even think about hitting the hay they had to do fetal monitoring (NST), administer anti-biotics, check my vitals. All of this every four hours for vitals and every six for antibiotics. Fine. I get that. I accept that. Anything to stop from having a 29 weeker because those guys are still in the danger zone. However, frequent check ins continued to occur even when I was done with the medication. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE A HEALTHY IMMUNE SYSTEM WHEN I AM SO SLEEP DEFICIENT? At least the the food was great and the staff was also very friendly if not somewhat inexperienced (more on this next paragraph.) My OB was an interesting man somewhere in the midst of his thirties. Although I didn't love his by the book approach (he basically laughed at me when I suggested safe & viable alternatives to prevent major abdominal surgery...) he came off as intelligent with a good sense of humor and a super informal bedside manner that I really appreciated. But bottom line, OBs are surgeons and surgeons like to cut people. His plan for me was to get me to 34 weeks then cut because of the breech position of this baby. Due to the lack of amniotic fluid, he felt there was 0% chance this baby would flip before than regardless of what I tried (e.g spinning babies). My growth ultrasound at 29 weeks confirmed the breech position but put baby at 3lbs 10oz and they described him as robust and well developed for his age. (I'm certain that this, at least is a product of my super healthy life style and also the 100g of protein minimum intake I shoot for every day.) The week was mostly uneventful except for a tornado evacuation and the IV debacle.
On my last night my IV was past due for changing and they needed "updated" blood samples. For the record, I am incredibly vascular and no one has EVER had trouble drawing blood or placing an IV in me. That night, the nurse came in with her battery of needles and IV paraphernalia. Immediately I got the tremors. I always get the tremors when they're about to do some medical procedure on me. My old IV was still in my right arm so she decided to try my left. After shoving the needle around under my skin for awhile (it reminded me of when you see abdominal liposuction done on TV...) she finally got to collect some blood but then I had a blow out so she couldn't use the same spot for the IV. She didn't even collect enough blood for the sample to be viable. I was uncomfortable with some anxiety but willing to let them try again. Still with the tremors though. (People always mistake that for me being cold but...it's really just latent terror.) She tried the other arm. Stab, stab, stab, stab....nothing. At this point I was starting to have a full on anxiety attack because it really hurt and I am super squeamish about needles. Always have been. She calls another nurse. That nurse tries with the same stabbing effort to no avail. At that point I was so distressed that the baby (who was on the monitor the whole time) starting looking distressed. Keep in mind that prior to this incident he always looked beautiful on the monitor. Best looking baby on the whole floor they said! Meanwhile Ben took the nurse into the hallway and insisted that she be done trying for the night. She agreed although in my imagination it was only very reluctantly. But now since the baby was distressed they had to do another pelvic exam because they thought the cord was caught in my cervix opening or something weird like that. Let me stop you there because 1) my cervix was still closed as of a few days ago with no contractions working to open it and 2) baby's distress couldn't possibly have anything to do with MY distress...could it? Nurse and docs alike weren't even willing to fathom that THEY'D caused this. No, no it was quite the failing of my own body. Cutting to the chase, I passed the exam with flying colors and as soon as I calmed down, baby calmed down. As you can imagine, after that ordeal and the general inflexibility of the staff to let me rest and be well, I was only too happy to hear I was approved for transfer back to Boulder.
PAUSE. The question that continues to haunt me is this: Why do I suck at having babies? I'm THE healthiest person I know. I've gone out of my way for many years to make this the cleanest vessel possible for babies to live in. I've bombarded all the doctors, at all the hospitals with this question, provided detailed accounts of my life style and no one can even come up with even a guess. I think other people (non-hospital people) like to blame it on my activity level but that's pure non-sense. Plenty of people continue exercising at the same level or harder than I was (e.g. many CrossFit moms). I was only working at half the capacity I was at the same time when I was carrying Jaxen...that would be roughly 25% of what I'm normally capable of. I know my limits and I scaled appropriately to how I was feeling. That said, I have my own theory. My body has been somewhat temperamental for a good portion of my older life. (Thanks Lyme disease?) Could it be that it just hates being pregnant? I seem to have a harder time with it just in general than all other moms I know. This problem didn't occur until I reached the same weight and largeness I was when I went into labor with Jaxen so could that be my breaking point? Unfortunately I reached it sooner with this baby because I didn't watch what I ate and I reduced my activity level much sooner. Bad combination.
At 30+2, I took my second ambulance ride back to Boulder where I was immediately welcomed back by the same relaxed (as in, NOT by the book) and friendly staff who had first admitted me. They were all about unhooking me from the machines, not stabbing me over and over with needles and letting me get a full night sleep based on the fact that all my monitoring results had been so good. (Yes, they left me alone all night but I really haven't slept more than 3 or 4 hours on given night I've been here...) My doctor here even said she would attempt an external version (turning the baby) before wheeling me into surgery! She encouraged me to practice the spinning babies exercises to help him turn! Finally, someone who treated me as an individual and not the lowest common denominator. Instead of a window view of Colfax, I was looking straight at the Colorado foothills with an excellent sunset view. Yes, everything here was better except the food, which is a weird concept for being in Boulder.
Click here for Part II!
So my first ambulance ride ever was thankfully uneventful. When I finally was delivered to my room at UCH it was probably 2am. Nice facility but very by the book as one might expect from a teaching hospital. Before I could even think about hitting the hay they had to do fetal monitoring (NST), administer anti-biotics, check my vitals. All of this every four hours for vitals and every six for antibiotics. Fine. I get that. I accept that. Anything to stop from having a 29 weeker because those guys are still in the danger zone. However, frequent check ins continued to occur even when I was done with the medication. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE A HEALTHY IMMUNE SYSTEM WHEN I AM SO SLEEP DEFICIENT? At least the the food was great and the staff was also very friendly if not somewhat inexperienced (more on this next paragraph.) My OB was an interesting man somewhere in the midst of his thirties. Although I didn't love his by the book approach (he basically laughed at me when I suggested safe & viable alternatives to prevent major abdominal surgery...) he came off as intelligent with a good sense of humor and a super informal bedside manner that I really appreciated. But bottom line, OBs are surgeons and surgeons like to cut people. His plan for me was to get me to 34 weeks then cut because of the breech position of this baby. Due to the lack of amniotic fluid, he felt there was 0% chance this baby would flip before than regardless of what I tried (e.g spinning babies). My growth ultrasound at 29 weeks confirmed the breech position but put baby at 3lbs 10oz and they described him as robust and well developed for his age. (I'm certain that this, at least is a product of my super healthy life style and also the 100g of protein minimum intake I shoot for every day.) The week was mostly uneventful except for a tornado evacuation and the IV debacle.
On my last night my IV was past due for changing and they needed "updated" blood samples. For the record, I am incredibly vascular and no one has EVER had trouble drawing blood or placing an IV in me. That night, the nurse came in with her battery of needles and IV paraphernalia. Immediately I got the tremors. I always get the tremors when they're about to do some medical procedure on me. My old IV was still in my right arm so she decided to try my left. After shoving the needle around under my skin for awhile (it reminded me of when you see abdominal liposuction done on TV...) she finally got to collect some blood but then I had a blow out so she couldn't use the same spot for the IV. She didn't even collect enough blood for the sample to be viable. I was uncomfortable with some anxiety but willing to let them try again. Still with the tremors though. (People always mistake that for me being cold but...it's really just latent terror.) She tried the other arm. Stab, stab, stab, stab....nothing. At this point I was starting to have a full on anxiety attack because it really hurt and I am super squeamish about needles. Always have been. She calls another nurse. That nurse tries with the same stabbing effort to no avail. At that point I was so distressed that the baby (who was on the monitor the whole time) starting looking distressed. Keep in mind that prior to this incident he always looked beautiful on the monitor. Best looking baby on the whole floor they said! Meanwhile Ben took the nurse into the hallway and insisted that she be done trying for the night. She agreed although in my imagination it was only very reluctantly. But now since the baby was distressed they had to do another pelvic exam because they thought the cord was caught in my cervix opening or something weird like that. Let me stop you there because 1) my cervix was still closed as of a few days ago with no contractions working to open it and 2) baby's distress couldn't possibly have anything to do with MY distress...could it? Nurse and docs alike weren't even willing to fathom that THEY'D caused this. No, no it was quite the failing of my own body. Cutting to the chase, I passed the exam with flying colors and as soon as I calmed down, baby calmed down. As you can imagine, after that ordeal and the general inflexibility of the staff to let me rest and be well, I was only too happy to hear I was approved for transfer back to Boulder.
PAUSE. The question that continues to haunt me is this: Why do I suck at having babies? I'm THE healthiest person I know. I've gone out of my way for many years to make this the cleanest vessel possible for babies to live in. I've bombarded all the doctors, at all the hospitals with this question, provided detailed accounts of my life style and no one can even come up with even a guess. I think other people (non-hospital people) like to blame it on my activity level but that's pure non-sense. Plenty of people continue exercising at the same level or harder than I was (e.g. many CrossFit moms). I was only working at half the capacity I was at the same time when I was carrying Jaxen...that would be roughly 25% of what I'm normally capable of. I know my limits and I scaled appropriately to how I was feeling. That said, I have my own theory. My body has been somewhat temperamental for a good portion of my older life. (Thanks Lyme disease?) Could it be that it just hates being pregnant? I seem to have a harder time with it just in general than all other moms I know. This problem didn't occur until I reached the same weight and largeness I was when I went into labor with Jaxen so could that be my breaking point? Unfortunately I reached it sooner with this baby because I didn't watch what I ate and I reduced my activity level much sooner. Bad combination.
At 30+2, I took my second ambulance ride back to Boulder where I was immediately welcomed back by the same relaxed (as in, NOT by the book) and friendly staff who had first admitted me. They were all about unhooking me from the machines, not stabbing me over and over with needles and letting me get a full night sleep based on the fact that all my monitoring results had been so good. (Yes, they left me alone all night but I really haven't slept more than 3 or 4 hours on given night I've been here...) My doctor here even said she would attempt an external version (turning the baby) before wheeling me into surgery! She encouraged me to practice the spinning babies exercises to help him turn! Finally, someone who treated me as an individual and not the lowest common denominator. Instead of a window view of Colfax, I was looking straight at the Colorado foothills with an excellent sunset view. Yes, everything here was better except the food, which is a weird concept for being in Boulder.
Click here for Part II!
(((((((((Hug)))))))))
ReplyDeleteUgh, the worst. Hang in there. I'm always thinking of you!
All my love!!!!!!
Thanks!!! Love you <3
ReplyDelete